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The “Mean Girls” Character You Are, According to Your Zodiac Sign

If you aren’t a fan of the LOL-worthy satire Mean Girls, then you can’t sit with us! Can you believe it’s been almost 20 years since it graced the silver screen? Seems like it was yesterday, but its devoted fandom and classic quips are still going strong. “On Wednesdays we wear pink.” Now, before we narrow down which Mean Girls character resembles each zodiac sign, let’s take a closer look at this Saturday Night Live inspired comedy, and why it continues to impact the culture to this day. 

From the moment this star-studded masterpiece—featuring Hollywood legends like Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams, Amanda Seyfried, Amy Poehler, Tina Fey and Lizzy Caplan—hit theaters, everything from the messy terrors of being a highschool student to the scandalous side of Girl World came into view, but in a memorable, lively and sarcastic way. 

*Insert Missy Elliot’s 2003 lead single “Pass That Dutch” here.* Warning: Beware of The Plastics. “They’re teen royalty. If North Shore was Us Weekly, they would be always on the cover.” Every highschool has its notorious array of colorful cliques, and this is what makes Mean Girls all the more relatable. “You got your freshmen, ROTC Guys, preps, JV jocks, Asian nerds, cool Asians, varsity jocks, unfriendly Black hotties, girls who eat their feelings, girls who don’t eat anything, desperate wannabes, burnouts, sexually active band geeks, the greatest people you will ever meet, and the worst.” 

Truth be told, this isn’t just your typical coming-of-age movie. And though the majority of its scenes are melodramatic and over-the-top, it captures exactly what it was like to be an adolescent in the early 2000s. And without further ado, here’s the Mean Girls character that matches your zodiac sign the most:

The Mean Girls Character That Matches Your Zodiac Sign

Kevin Gnapoor

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Aries: You’re Kevin Gnapoor

“Damn. I’d rather see you up there shakin’ that thang.” If flirting were a sport, you’d be an olympian. But being captain of the Mathletes at North Shore High (Math enthusiast, Bad-ass M.C., to be exact) suits you remarkably well. You’re assertive, self-assured and as audacious as ever with your approach. You were also the lead of K.G. and the Power of Three, giving the entire student body an epic rap performance at the winter talent contest. “All you sucka MC’s ain’t got nothin’ on me, from my grades, to my lines, you can’t touch Kevin G.”

Aaron Samuels Mean Girls

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Taurus: You’re Aaron Samuels

Being “one of the hottest and most popular boys at North Shore High” comes with the turf when you’re ruled by Venus, the planet of love, beauty and seduction. And though you can’t help but make all the ladies swoon—even when asking your classmate something as simple as today’s date—you’re simply not interested in playing games. You’re a fixed earth sign, which explains your loyalty to Queen Bee Regina George. Honesty is also your strong suit, which is why you had no problem telling Cady it was stupid to pretend to be bad at math, as a way to get closer to you.

Gretchen Wieners

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Gemini: You’re Gretchen Wieners

Similar to your savvy planetary ruler, Mercury, you’re curious, resourceful and highly aware of your social surroundings. Perhaps that’s why your “hair is full of secrets,” because you somehow managed to gather all of the facts firsthand. And though you eventually cracked and told Cady everything you knew about Regina—like the way she cheats on her boyfriend every Thursday in the projection room above the auditorium—you pride yourself on being a feminist, because ex-boyfriends are simply off limits to friends! You also can’t help it that you’re popular, or that your Father invented Toaster Strudel.

Karen Smith

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Cancer: You’re Karen Smith

“Gretchen, I’m sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Noble.” Despite having a seat at the table alongside your fellow Plastics, Gretchen and Regina, you’re not a typical “mean girl,” per se. So much so, when you’re not unintentionally crushing on your first cousin, Seth, you often choose to keep to yourself. “I can’t go out. *cough, cough* I’m sick.” As for your *fifth sense* and psychic radar, it’s like you have ESPN or something; your breasts can always tell when it’s raining.

Amy Poeler Mean Girls

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Leo: You’re June George

“Hey, hey, hey. How are my best girlfriends?” The only thing better than being your daughter’s hype woman and biggest support system is the fact that you’re not just a regular mom, you’re a cool mom. “Happy Hour is from four to six!” Being ruled by the warm sun makes you childlike, playful and forever young, but it also explains why you’re always camera-ready with hump-day treats. You’ll also stop at nothing to keep up with the trends and cool jams, even though you’re the epitome of hot gossip.

MCDMEGI EC057 The “Mean Girls” Character You Are, According to Your Zodiac Sign

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Virgo: You’re Ms. Norbury

“Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George.” You push people to be the best they can be… which for the record, has absolutely nothing to do with drugs of any kind. Although, in addition to being coach of the North Shore Mathletes, you’re also a recent divorcée who bartends a couple of nights a week to make ends meet. You know a thing or two about the struggle, but that still doesn’t take away from your innate appeal and integrity as a leader. “You don’t have to dumb yourself down in order for a guy to like you.” You lead with example.

Mean Girls

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Libra: You’re Principle Duval

A diplomat at heart—who can’t help but have the hots for fellow employee Ms. Norbury—you’ll stop at nothing to make sure things are running smoothly at North Shore High School, even if that means giving the students an attitude makeover. “Hell, no. I did *not* leave the South Side for this!” After reading some of the horrifying notes written in Burn Book and seeing the ladies of North Shore High go wild, you rang the fire alarm and took matters into your own hands.

Regina George

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Scorpio: You’re Regina George

“So you agree. You think you’re really pretty.” Being the villain is almost inevitable when you’re ruled by shadowy Pluto, Lord of the Underworld. Although, despite using your hypnotic manipulation tactics to personally victimize the entire student body, everyone has a trigger and yours stems from the fear of betrayal. “She thinks she’s gonna have a party and not invite me? Truth is, no one can do revenge better than you can, similar to the way you stood in the middle of complete and utter havoc, after sharing flyers of the Burn Book. “Evil takes a human form in Regina George.”

Lindsay Lohan Cady Heron

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Sagittarius: You’re Cady Heron

“Hey, you’re the Africa girl, right?” Similar to your planetary ruler, Jupiter, themes of expansion, travel and education happen to be right up your alley. However, beneath your first week of high-school scaries, you’re fiercely passionate and wildly adventurous. After all, you have to be pretty bold to go out of your way to sabotage the highschool mean girl, not to mention play dumb in math class to steal her boyfriend. “The limit does not exist!” Although, on the dark side, you’re also prone to taking things too far, which isn’t worth losing your friends, not to mention failing your junior year of highschool.

Betsy Heron Mean Girls

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Capricorn: You’re Betsy Heron

“Do you remember your phone number? I wrote it down for you just in case.” Traditional and dedicated to your craft as a research zoologist in Africa, you do everything in your power to create structure for your new home away from home, especially when in regards to your teenage daughter. You’re also well aware of your morals and values, and expect no less from your family. “This is the fertility vase of the Ndebele tribe. Does that mean anything to you?” After Cady hosted an unsupervised party and started failing calculus, grounding her was your only choice, but Chip let her go to the Math competition anyway.

Janis Ian

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Aquarius: You’re Janis Ian

“Oh, I love seeing teachers outside of school. It’s like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs.” On top of being a talented artist and a rebel at heart, you also pride yourself on your people-watching skills. And though you know a thing or two about “evil people,”—namely, the Queen Bee of North Shore High, Regina George—your innate ability to plot, strategize, and scheme isn’t too far off. On the plus side, you’re a loyal friend to those who show you the same in return, but you have no problem giving them the icy silent treatment when necessary. You own your truth, even if that means coming clean about your Plastic Sabotage plan in front of the entire junior class.

Damien Mean Girls

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Pisces: You’re Damian

Chameleon-like and hysterically witty without even trying, you’re a resourceful friend and emotional hype-man for your best pals. Dressing up as Santa Claus—to purposely exclude Gretchen Wieners from receiving her holiday candy cane from Regina George—barely scratches the surface of your devotion. “She doesn’t even go here!” You’re keen on blending in which, of course, explains how you managed to sneak into the girls’ meeting at the school gym. “I want my pink shirt back!” People shouldn’t be fooled by your chill exterior, as you are easily the eyes and ears of North Bay Shore High. As for your epic rendition of Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful” at the winter talent contest, your musical talents tend to outshine your role in student activities. 

StyleCaster | The Manifest Issue 2023

Remi Bader. Design: Sasha Purdy / StyleCaster

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